Vote For Me and I’ll Give You Everything For Free – Everything!!!

Ladies and gentleman, I would like to announce that I’ve decided to run for public office. I don’t know which one yet, but I know it’s going to be public.

My program is simple. Instead of coming up with my own plan or solution to a problem created by some earlier project, I’m going to go on record as a supporter of someone else’s idea. As a next step, I will relax and watch them fight to implement it. That way, when they succeed – I’m a winner. When they fail – I can say that I was misunderstood and have never supported the idea.

In the business of coming up with new solutions to old solutions, no one can beat the Washington Establishment. There’s no reason to waste my energy. It’s smart to let others do the work.

So, here it goes. …

I support Senator Elizabeth Warren and her plan to forgive College debt.

It’s a great idea; higher education should be free. I believe that everyone should go to college, get all the degrees and PhDs, and then stay in college to teach all the newcomers who will show up to get their degrees and PhDs, so they can help older teachers prepare the younger generation of feature college teachers. In a couple of decades, everyone will be either teaching or studying in college, and the United States will become the smartest nation on earth.

When it comes to covering the cost of Student Loan Forgiveness Program, which at the moment reaches $1.5 Trillion, and all the future expenses, I will tax the rich. You know, people who instead of staying in college, decided to do something useful, and made some money in the process. (Luckily, those people are always around).


I support Sen. Bernie Sanders’ “Medicare for All” proposal.

Great idea. The government-funded health care system is the way to go. Instead of all that competition mumbo-jumbo, everything will be run from Washington DC by highly trained professional bureaucrats. People will not need to worry about which doctor to choose or which hospital to visit. Health care managers will make decisions according to patient worthiness to society.

For instance, if the probability of a patient being able to go back to work (example: teaching in college) after medical treatment will be rated as high (example: young drug addict in need of rehab), the patient will be taken care off.

On another hand, if a patient will receive a low rating from the health care account manager (example: senior citizen in need of hip replacement), that patient will be respectfully sent home with a high-quality aluminum walker. If the health care official happens to be in a good mood, set of audible books from Amazon will be added as a bonus, and the lucky patient will have something to listen to when sitting at home (reading will be out of question because as a senior citizen the patient won’t be eligible to receive glasses).

Managers will be responsible for keeping spending at a minimum, and waste of financial resources; will not be tolerated.

When it comes to covering the cost of “Medicare for All”, which at the moment is estimated in the range of about $25 trillion to $35 trillion over 10 years, I will tax the rich. You know, people who instead of waiting for free health care, decided to do something useful, made some money and bought their own medical insurance. (Luckily, those people are always around).


I support Andrew Yang’s Universal Basic Income (UBI).

I case you didn’t know, he is running for President as a Democrat in 2020. He runs because he fears for the future of our country.

Universal Basic Income for every American is a great idea. Every American over the age of 18 will get $1,000 a month, for no reason whatsoever and with no strings attached. We all love free money. The more, the better. Andy, you’re the man!

The program will be “paid for by a new tax on the companies benefiting most from automation,” because automation is terrible, and we need to tax it, and “by implementing a Value-Added Tax (VAT) of 10%” which will cause our economy to explode, because higher taxes are always great for growth.

When it comes to covering the cost of “Universal Basic Income” program, which at the moment is estimated to reach $30 trillion over ten years, even with 10% VAT, “automation tax” and a couple of other sources of revenue, I will still tax the rich. You know, people who instead of waiting for their guaranteed payments of $1,000 per month, decided to do something useful, and are making much more than $1,000 per month. (Luckily, those people are always around).


I agree with Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Kamala Harris, Andrew Yang, Pete Buttigieg, Kirsten Gillibrand, Michael Bennet, Marianne Williamson, John Hickenlooper, and Eric Swalwell that all illegal aliens should get free health care coverage.

I love this idea because this is a much better option for our senior citizens than Medicare for All that I’ve mentioned above. Instead of dealing with all those highly trained professional bureaucrats, all a senior citizen will need to do to receive quality health care, will be showing up in the nearby hospital and then pretend not to speak English. To be on a safe side, a senior citizen should also make sure that his cash and ID stayed home.

I Have no idea how much it is going to cost. According to Chris Conover, from Duke University’s Center for Health Policy and Inequalities Research, in 2018, American taxpayers shell out nearly $20 billion for health care for illegal immigrants, but with the addition of all those temporarily illegal senior citizens, that number will multiply very quickly.

When it comes to covering the cost of free health care coverage for illegal aliens (and senior citizens), even without any realistic estimate, I will still, guess what, tax the rich. You know, people who have too much money. (Luckily, those individuals are always around).


I intended to support Rep. Ocasio-Cortez and Senator Ed Markey Green New Deal, but. …

It looks like not everyone out there is as excited or dedicated to this new green deal as Rep. Ocasio-Cortez:

It will be one of several or maybe many suggestions that we receive, The green dream, or whatever they call it, nobody knows what it is, but they’re for it, right?

Nancy Pelosi

And the vocabulary used in this document needs a little improvement:

We set a goal to get to net-zero, rather than zero emissions, in 10 years because we aren’t sure that we’ll be able to fully get rid of farting cows and airplanes that fast, but we think we can ramp up renewable manufacturing and power production, retrofit every building in America, build the smart grid, overhaul transportation and agriculture, plant lots of trees and restore our ecosystem to get to net-zero.

Green New Deal FAQ
Page 2
Full text of FAQ

I don’t believe it’s proper to use the word “farting” in any text submitted to the US Congress.

A recent analysis from the American Action Forum estimated that Ocasio-Cortez’s plan would cost $93 trillion, but there’s not much specifics out there about funding, and the draft text on Rep. Ocasio-Cortez’s website says that:

the majority of financing of the plan shall be accomplished by the federal government.

Hopefully, the federal government will raise the money the same way I would: by taxing the rich. You know, people who have too much money. Way too much money (Luckily, those guys and girls are always around).

Because of these few minor problems, I decided to suspend my support of Ocasio-Cortez / Markey ambitious green plan, until further notice.

Now when you all know whom and what I support, I sail off to Hawaii.

Thank You For Reading