Lashana Lynch Is New 007… Temporary Replacement

Martini got shaken and seriously disturbed. Is this the attempt to assassinate Bond? James Bond?

Bond 25

The movie hasn’t been made yet, but due to my extensive connections (?) in show business, I’ve got a short version of the movie plot which I’m going to share with you.

Do not panic. James Bond, the handsome guy with a gun, has not died yet. He decided to go on vacation in Jamaica, and some cute woman got a part-time gig, pretending to be 007 so that the real Bond could rest a little and recharge his batteries.

Off course, the life of a spy is not simple. Because the temporary 007 (the cute one), due to lack of training and glaring incompetents, is unable to perform her duties at the required level, real 007 (the handsome one) is called off his vacation.

Being forced to cut his Jamaican vacations short makes him mad as hell, and the kind of welcome he receives when landing in MI6 headquarters doesn’t help. The temporary 007 (the cute one) doesn’t want to return his 007 jerseys back to him.

After short argument inside the supervisor’s office, Bond pulls out his historic Walther PPK and skillfully places two .380 slugs in the temporary’s 007 (the cute one’s) forehead, inducing irreparable damage to the brain matter what in effect causes her to drop dead.

The supervisor fixes double martini (shaken, not stirred) in an effort to calm real 007 (the handsome one) down.

In the end, everything gets back to normal. Temporary 007 (the cute one) ends up in the plastic bag, real 007 (the handsome one) takes his jerseys back and then, after clearing his throat with a big glass of martini, gets back to work cleaning the mess the temporary 007 (the cute one) has created, providing this way the material for the next movie.

The End

Who’s next?

It looks like people at Bond franchise are testing the waters. They want to know how far they can go if it comes to reinventing Bond’s character. If the audience will like the idea of cute 007 and the movie will become successful, the next Bond will be very different from the rest of them…

Eddie Izzard is my choice to be the next full-time James Bond. He can be scary as hell and he looks good in a dress.

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